The Winner

Thanks to YOU my FABULOUS READERS who helped make Adventures of a Football Girl:

DFW's Most Valuable Sports Blog! 

A nice side benifet of this is that the win makes me, technically:

DFW's Most Valuable Sports Blogger!

Don’t worry, it’s only gone to my head a lot.  I pretty much throw around the title of DFW's Most Valuable Sports Blogger all the time – especially anytime anyone disagrees with anything I’m saying. 

It works for me.

The Frogdebacle

I live in Dallas, so SMU and TCU should kind of be the hometown teams that I rally around in addition to my own school. In the case of SMU, I’m on board. The school is charming and June Jones has helped raise that program from the ashes. The fans are just excited to be a part of something exciting. I love me some SMU. Pony up!

Then there's my less supportive side.....Remember The Blind Side? There’s a scene when Sandra Bullock walks into the room and sees Tennessee playing football on TV and asks “Who’s winning.” “Tennessee,” they tell her. “Ugh, who are they playing?” she asks and is told “Clemson.” At that point Michael turns to SJ and asks, “Does your mama root against Tennessee no matter who they play?” And she replies: “Uh, Yes I do. With Gusto.”

I feel this way about TCU. I don’t like them. It’s not very nice, but it’s true. I don’t find TCU charming, their fans are generally not nice and I very particularly do not care for Gary Patterson, who always has someone else to blame when the job isn't getting done.

A lot of times people will ask me what my beef is with TCU, so I’m just going to throw it out there once and for all...

The Fans: People talk about Texas fans being arrogant – if that’s true, then TCU is right up there with us. Especially for a team that was practically obsolete until 2007. It’s one thing to do some trash talking at a game, but when TCU last came to Texas they were absolutely among the nastiest fans I’ve ever seen (that’s saying a lot, ehem, Texas Tech). TCU came in ranked #19, Texas was #7. At halftime the Frogs were up 10-0, and seeing those fans walk around our stadium, throwing ‘Horns down and heckling people just trying to get a corn dog was pretty ridiculous. When the game was finally over and Texas had won 34-13, it escalated. “Texas cheated,” “Texas got unfair calls,” “TCU could win anytime if the game was fair,” “[Expletive] you, [expletive].” This last gem was said to my mom, who was trying to ward off a heckler with the soothing and neutral comment “There’s still a lot of football left this season!”

I know I can’t judge the entire Horned Frog fan base on these few experiences, but it’s hard not to. Every time a college football conversation with a Horned Frog starts up, all they do is cry about how they are constantly overlooked for the BCS Championship Game. My only response can really be “well, be ranked #1 or #2 and you’ll get to go…?” “Don’t play pansies and expect to be ranked higher than SEC teams..?” Your 2011 schedule has one ranked team on it. I hope Portland State doesn’t give you too much trouble.

Inevitably, the Frogs will say that they’ve “Beaten every Big XII team they’ve played.” Uh, I have no idea about the other teams, but I do know they  haven’t beaten Texas since 1992 (before the Big XII) and before that the last times the Frogs took down the ‘Horns was 1967…four wins out of 37 over the last 50 years does not a more dominant team make. Going back further, Texas leads the series overall 61-20-1 since 1897. Come talk to me when you crack out of that 25% win margin.

That’s usually when blood starts shooting out of their eyes. Hey, at least now they’ll probably stop taunting me about how much it sucks to lose to Baylor. Bwah ha ha.

Equally annoying is that even though there are all these "fans," TCU has only managed to sell out Amon G. Carter Stadium (capacity 44,358) six times...in 81 years!  One of those times was against Texas and it was filled with OUR FANS.  Now TCU is spending $105 million dollars to renovate the stadium to "enhance the fan experience."  Uh, how about you use that money to buy seats to sell out what you've got?  Just saying.  

Um, but I do like those uniforms they have that have the helmets that look like blood is spurting from their eye area....?  No, really, I do.

The 2009 Season: I have a big problem with the reaction of the fan base and coaches to the 2009 season. Yes, TCU went undefeated (against powerhouses like Air Force and Colorado State).  Yes, you were highly ranked.  But stop blaming Texas because you didn't go to the big show.

So, TCU didn’t get to go to the BCS National Championship game because the Texas BIG XII Championship win over Nebraska pushed them up to #2 in the rankings, placing them in the title game against #1 Alabama? 

No...

I find it irksome and puzzling that TCU blames not getting to go to the title game on Texas. You would think that the Longhorns had gone to Fort Worth and stolen all the cleats from the TCU locker room minutes before a game, forcing them to play shoeless and badly, thus “stealing” a shot at the BCS Championship from them.

(Side note: To add kerosene to my raging fire of disgust about this misdirected blame, I read an article after the Big XII Championship about Gary Patterson’s reaction to it:

The Longhorns took over at their 40-yard line and quickly drove down the field. Once they reached Nebraska's 26-yard line with less than one minute left, Patterson couldn't take anymore. He left his home near the TCU campus and walked down the street -- without shoes.

“I had to walk outside,” Patterson said. "I didn't even say anything. I walked out in my bare feet, walked down the street, it was cold and I didn't even feel it. What else was I going to do? You get so close, but yet you're so far away."

Uh, Gary, I think you need to step away from football for a few minutes and get a little perspective. I maybe wouldn’t be so irritated by this very pitiful statement if he hadn’t been so adamantly cheering for Texas to lose:

Patterson cracked a door in his home as Nebraska prepared to kick a go-ahead field goal against No. 3 Texas.

"We might be able to hear the whole city of Fort Worth cheer if they make this kick," Patterson told her.

Nice one, Patty.   On the other hand, maybe he thought he was wearing shoes?  Maybe those creepy toe-shoes?)

Look, I get it.  I understand that TCU fans and players were upset, but his reaction to this Texas win rallied the fans in a misdirected pity party that Texas had somehow robbed them of something. To make matters even more ridiculous, TCU didn’t even end up with a final ranking of #3…so even had Texas lost there was no guarantee that they would have been in the title game with Alabama. 

It's just nacho-year, Frogs...it has nothing to do with Texas.   

On top of that, TCU ended up getting beaten by #6 Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl.  But ask any Frog and he'll tell you that "TCU Could have beaten Alabama" if they'd had gotten to go to the game.  Enough already! 

TCU (at the time of this post) is 581-512-57.  That means they've won just under half of the games they've played.  Why bother playing the game?  Just stop at the coin-toss - your odds are better that way.

Since Gary Patterson came on as coach in 2000, they are 101-29-0, which is way better, at 78%.  The Frogs under Patterson have won 2/3 of their post season bowl games, which is also great.

TCU is always saying they want to play with the big boys and will play anyone to prove they're worthy competitors. Then why, with three games left to schedule for 2011 did TCU turn down a re-match with Wisconsin? "Logistical conflicts" was the TCU party line. Really, TCU?

Of course! TCU has a big hang up on logistics. Wasn't it 2003 when TCU - just one loss from it's first BSC Bowl bid, turned down the GMAC Bowl against Miami-Ohio? Yes, it was. Instead they played in the Fort Worth Bowl where they lost (hahahaha) to Boise State. A direct quote from AD Eic Hyman was

 "I can't do that. I have to be sensitive to our young people. They are student-athletes, but they are also students, and they are coming to school to get an education. We cannot disrupt their exams. It's not fair to them." Also, the gem "This is bigger than a bowl game."

Oh, Honey. Come on now, why don't you just bundle that up with the Longhorn Network and try to sell it? It would be seven years before TCU actually made it to their first BCS Bowl (which, thank goodness, did not interfere with finals) where they were promptly defeated by...Boise State.

I also can't help but find it ironic that TCU had no problem traveling to games that fell within TWO DAYS OF CHRISTMAS. I'm just saying...between the "Texas" and the "University" part of TCU (you know, the University part indicating the academics that are so important to these football players...?) is the word CHRISTIAN. Come on now, TCU! Let's get all of our bases covered!

Look, I never said I was nice.  I also never said I wasn't petty.  My beef with TCU may be childish or whatever, but I just can't feel bad for a team who's always pouting about not being treated like a traditional powerhouse when...they're not a traditional powerhouse.

The Perception of Reality

When I was just starting out in the working world, I had a boss who said to me “Beth, perception is reality.” Being young, green and self-righteous, I didn’t really understand what he was trying to say until much later on. Once the light bulb came on, it changed the way I communicated and helped me as I navigated through the big bad world.

per•cep•tion: /[per-sep-shuh n] noun, the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.

re•al•i•ty: /[ree-al-i-tee] noun, the state or quality of being real.

I get now that my boss was trying to make me understand that people base their realities on a combination of what is presented to them sensually (seeing, hearing, etc…) and what they already know (how they were raised, the current situation, etc…). No two realities are the same, since no two people have the exact same sensory and cognitive backgrounds.

I’ll stop myself here, before I become too highly involved in philosophy and theoretic. This mind spinning circles around Archimedes is just not a pretty thing. I’d prefer use my brain power to recall mnemonic devices from elementary school and spit out useless statistics about Longhorn football.

What my boss meant was this: If the client (or in my case, tenant) perceives that things are happening a certain way, that is their reality. No matter how misguided or wrong you may think they are, or no matter how skewed their perception seems, it is indeed, their reality. Once you understand that, fixing and/or negotiating issues becomes much easier.

That being said: Please don’t get all bent out of shape about something you read on Adventures of a Football Girl. It’s a blog. That I write in my spare time. I’m just some girl that really likes Texas football and is prone to falling down and/or injury. I write about things I’ve seen, heard, felt, tasted and sometimes smelled. I write about my perception of these things, based on my life experiences thus far, and those perceptions are real to me because I just don’t have the cognizance know any differently.

Whilst browsing my blog, you’ll note that I have opinions on the ‘Horns that aren’t always favorable. You’ll also note that I do a lot of research. I don’t make facts up or insert fake quotes, all that stuff is real and generally comes from University web-archives or credible sports news outlets. I understand you may not like the results of my research or my stats. But! Before getting all riled up about it, it’s important to understand that 99%* of statistics are used to make a point. Clearly, you, me and everyone else will only use the ones that work for the point their trying to make. Think of it this way: There’s a statistic that 1/3 of women who start taking the birth control pill gain weight. What you never hear is that 1/3 of women lose weight, and 1/3 of women do not experience a change in weight. You also generally don’t hear that just over 1/3 of women who begin taking the pill do so their first year of college. And I’m pretty sure it’s no secret that the ‘freshman 15’ is not just a myth. So, while it’s true that a third of women gain weight when they get on the pill, when coupled with the rest of the stats on the subject, it seems less ominous.

Another point of note. I understand that I do not understand the intricacies of football. When I write a commentary on a game, it’s just me, a random girl, writing about a football game I just watched. Just my opinions. No reason to become upset if you disagree with my own personal feelings and thoughts.  I don't need you to go full out Hulk on me.  We're all good here.  

So please just take all of it in with a grain of salt (or with the salted rim of your tequila shot). It’s just for fun.
There's no need to send me angry anonymous emails.  I will just end up sending them to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com.

If you find my reality is so skewed that it angers you, please, just stop reading it. I’m okay with that. Or, you could get really mad about it and forward it along with a scathing hate note about me to all of your buddies. I’m okay with that too – you know why? Because then your buddies read my blog and forward your email to their buddies who will read my blog! The email will live on forever!  That’s how people get discovered.

Just ask Jim Tressel.

*Okay, maybe I did make up a statistic! But it was just a little one, just for a second. Just to see how it felt.

The Bye-Week

And as we wrap up another weekend of college football, the announcement comes that Texas A&M has been "unconditionally" accepted to the SEC for the 2012 season.  Let's give Texas A&M a big round of applause, as they move out of the shadow of the Big Bad Sooners and the Big Bad Longhorns and into the shadows of at least nine teams that will dominate them in football for their tenure in the SEC.  

I thought the Aggies leaving for the SEC had nothing
to do with the Longhorns?  I'm so confused...but
it's a super classy shirt...I'd rather look at this than
those horrible overalls!

I find the timing of the acceptance and announcement hilarious - if I was the SEC, I too would welcome a program with a lot of (literal) debts to pay, a very obvious inferiority complex and a propensity to melt down when they have the most on the line.  The whole scenario leaves me wondering when a bucket of pigs blood is going to come pouring out on some poor yell leader's crisp white uniform and closely cropped head...I already get the feeling that "they're all doing to laugh at you."  

Since I had no Longhorn game to attend (or tailgate for) I was able to actually watch other games this week.  Of course, the only game really on my mind was the A&M/OSU game.  Since both teams are (at least for now) in the Big XII, I was free to root for one against the other, so I happily pulled for OSU.  And they did not disappoint.  

A few points of note from the game:  

1.  I'm guessing that at halftime, Mike Gundy beat the crap out of the team.  Because "he's a man!" Certainly his team's performance in the first half was "garbage" and "made him want to puke!"  If you have no idea why I'm saying these things, I need you to immediately look up Mike Gundy's press-conference rant on youtube.  It's will be an amazing two minutes of your life.  Yet I digress. I find it odd that OSU reacts exactly opposite when they come back from halftime when playing A&M than they do when playing Texas.  Or is it that Texas and Texas A&M play like opposites in second halves against OSU?  That being said....  

2. ...for whatever reason, the Aggies really just kind of blanked out for the third and most of the fourth quarter on Saturday.  For a team with so much on the line - kind of like having to back up the statement "we want to go to the SEC and play football with the big boys."  Hmmm, maybe you should try playing with the "normal sized" boys first? - they really didn't impress.  Also, their trainers really belong in jail for their complete lack of success in keeping their team hydrated....  

3. ...which leads me to wonder when A&M got such a top notch drama department?! Maybe I'm just cynical or short sided, but I have a hard time believing that the Aggies were having so much trouble with "cramping" and "the heat" while playing AT HOME after one of the hottest summers on record.  Really Ags?  Really? It's weird that you didn't start cramping until you realized the Cowboys were playing a 'hurry up" offense which you couldn't defend.  Thank goodness you got those cramps - otherwise your defensive coaches couldn't get your plays called in time. It's weird, your offensive players didn't have any issues with cramping...just weird.  Of course, all that drama couldn't hide the fact that....  

4. ...OSU exposed the weakness of the Aggie defense on national TV on a very highly publicized stage.  It's clear the only defense A&M had against the fast acting Cowboy offense was bad acting.  I'm curious to see how both teams compete for the rest of the season.   

Speaking of dramatics, may I mention that at one point during the game when the camera rolled to a timeout, I exclaimed "Oh my God!  Why are there old fashioned milkmen on the sidelines?!" Then I realized they were not milkmen, but Aggie Yell Leaders.  Fool me once...          

The Road Trip

This last weekend, I traveled to California for the Texas/UCLA game at the Rose Bowl. I have to admit, it was nice to walk away from the Rose Bowl with a win…and a McCoy with full use of both of his arms! I also have to admit it was nice to finally beat the UCLA Bruins, who’ve basically owned us since 1997. A little selfishly, I really wanted to beat them 66-3 (the score of the infamous “Route 66” game in Austin) but frankly I’ll take any win.

A few highlights from the game:

1) The Mike Davis Catch. While my sister Kacie is not happy about this play, I loved it. Her concern is that she’d rather not have to catch the ball after an almost-pick. I look at plays like that and think about how great it is that Davis kept his head in the game and followed through on the play. I think a lot of great plays are born from broken ones – I want to look at them all in the most positive light I can! Speaking of broken plays….

2) The McCoy Scramble. We (and maybe UCLA) thought he was down…and as we Count Dracula’d that crap ("One! One missed tackle! Two! Two missed tackles! Three! THREE MISSED TACKLES! Bwah ha ha ha ha!") McCoy just kept on going, kept his head and found his guy! While in the stands, I received a completely unsolicited text from my mom that said only “The replay was even better. He’s the man.” I knew exactly what she was talking about and echoed her sentiments exactly. Speaking of sentiments….

3) The Team Acted Like A Team. The players looked relaxed, happy, and cohesive. Like they were having fun for the first time in years! I got goose-bumps when the game was over and the players came to our visitors side and started dancing with the band. I think they might finally be feeling in the groove…and grooving to the feeling. There’s a lot to be said for having that Mojo. Speaking of Mojo….

On the plane ride home (as we circled DFW to avoid flying straight into a thunderstorm) Kacie, Debra and I were watching Friday Night Lights (the movie version) on the iPad. Random-Longhorn-Fan-Guy (who had earlier been eyeballing us in the terminal as we sat with our Texas gear on) stopped in the aisle, looked at us and made the comment “Y’all are going to make fines wives someday.”

Um. Thanks buddy…I guess?

The Baby Doppelgangers

Uh, is anyone else crazy excited about the little burnt orange deja vu show we saw at the Texas/BYU game? McCoy to Shipley! McCoy to Shipley! Watching these Baby Doppelgangers connect on the field was just what I wanted to see.

ba·by/ˈbeɪbi/ plural -bies, adjective, verb, -bied, -by·ing noun: (3rd descript) the youngest member of a family, group, etc. (9th descript) small; comparatively little: a baby car.

dop·pel·gäng·er/ˈdɒpəlˌgæŋər; Ger. ˈdɔpəlˌgɛŋər/ Show Spelled[dop-uhl-gang-er; Ger. daw-puhl-geng-er]noun:  a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

I find the definition having the word "ghostly" here to be particularly hilarious since Jordan Shipley was referred to as "The Ghost" his first two years. He was so highly recruited and then injury plagued, so he was often spoken of, but never seen, thus ghostly.  At the K-State game in Manhattan in 2006, I was in the stands when I saw what I thought may be Jordan Shipley out on the field.  "Is that The Ghost?" I asked Debra just as he went full on for a 15 yard rush and a first down.  "You go, Ghost!" I yelled.  Very eeerily, the man in front of me turned around and looked me straight in the eye. "Don't call my son The Ghost," he said before eeerily turning back to watch the field.  All I could do was stammer. "Ghost...not insult...good...everyone calls...ghost...not bad thing...ghost."  I sounded like Milton from Office Space..."and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler..."

I'm all about Case McCoy, I think he's our best chance at quarterback right now and he has my full support. But that Jaxon Shipley...man!  Just watching him snatch those balls from triple coverage gave me chills. He's good. I hope he's as good as his brother. Not to mention, if he's anything like his brother, he'll never leave us.

I feel bad that they're going to be constantly compared to their brothers.  But not bad enough to stop doing it!!  They have the same initials as their brothers, for God's sake!  To that I say:

More Baby Doppelgangers! Bring me the Baby Doppelgangers!

Let's do a Baby Doppelganger SAT Math Question:

Assuming McCoys and Shipleys multiply at their current rate and the Football Girl lives to be 106 years old, how many Doppelgangers might she see in her lifetime?

A. (4) McCoys and (4) Shipleys

B. (8) McCoys and (8) Shipleys

C. (16) McCoys and (16) Shipleys

D. (28) McCoys and (28) Shipleys

Ha!  I tricked you! It's none of the above!  If I live to see a century, I could see 60 burnt orange Doppelgangers in my lifetime!!  There could theoretically be a team consisting ENTIRELY of Greatgrandbaby McCoys and Shipleys!! McCoy to Shipley!

A. (4) McCoys / (4) Shipleys (Doppelgangers on a single UT team in 25 years)

B. (8) McCoys and (8) Shipleys (Doppelgangers on a single UT team in 50 years)
C. (16) McCoys and (16) Shipleys (Doppelgangers on a single UT team in 75 years)
D. (28) McCoys and (28) Shipleys (Total of  future Doppelgangers over time)

Trick Answer: (60) Total Doppelgangers (estimate of answer D, plus the Originals and the first pair of Baby Doppelgangers.)

(I understand that was very convoluted and possibly wrong.  Just go with it and love it.  I'm not good at math, and if we haven't established that yet, we did right here.)

Last night when I told a friend of mine, "Zest," about the possibility of an entire team made of Baby Doppelgangers, he asked why I thought about just cloning them.  I briefly considered that, then thought about the possible repercussions (the DNA in those Deliverance people was surely not quite right) and decided we should wait until the process is refined a little more, and maybe by that point we could just mix up the DNA of McCoys and Shipleys and get a McShipley.  Zest asked how that would work: would he throw the ball to himself and catch it?  I responded "yes, like Bugs Bunny."  The conversation deteriorated rapidly as we began to debate if Bugs Bunny actually ever did (or could physically could) do that.  (I know you're on the edge of your seat, so the answer is: Yes, he can and he did.  I won the debate by using evidence I found on the interwebs.)

Note:  Jaxon and Case confirmed today to Chip Brown that, just like their fathers and brothers before them, they are indeed roommates at school.  McCoy to Shipley!

And now, I present to you:

THE FIRST THREE GENERATIONS OF SHIPLEYS AND MCCOYS!

Brad McCoy and Bob Shipley

Jordan Shipley and Colt McCoy

Jaxon Shipley and Case McCoy

The Open Letter

Dear Coaches Brown, Harsin & Applewhite:

Last night, I was one of the 100,000 fans watching the Longhorns play football at DKR.

Of all the things that happened yesterday (tailgating, spending time with my family, the lovely 9-11 tribute from the band, the win over BYU, the superb play of our team, and yes, even the two hour ordeal of being crammed into the cab of the tow truck with the driver and my two girlfriends while having our car towed from Hillsboro to Dallas), there's only one thing on my mind:

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

It was absolutely apparent from the moment the game started that your Longhorn fans were not going to react well if Garrett Gilbert did not perform consistently. After the first three possessions, I began bracing myself for an inevitable & ugly crowd reaction. I expected the boos to begin when he came in on the fourth offensive drive.

Though the fans doing the booing should also be ashamed of themselves, I'll give them a smidgeon of credit - they gave you a lot more leniency than I expected. It wasn't until after you had played Ash, who got our first 1st down of the game and put Gilbert back in twice, even after the first attempt resulted in an interception, that the fans booed.

And just in case you weren't aware, I'll break it down: The crowd was really booing at you.

Shame on you for allowing 100,000 people to become so tired and frustrated with your decision making that they booed a kid - who's out there trying his best - in order to get your attention. For creating a situation that caused an entire fan base to take out their frustrations with you on Garrett Gilbert, simply because you were too stubborn to take him out of the game in a timely fashion.

You can't convince me that you didn't know this was going to happen.

I know for a fact that two of you have seen this before in this very program. Coaches Brown and Applewhite: you were there in 2001 when fans booed Chris Simms off the field in Dallas. I was there too. Shame on you for not remembering what that was like and stopping it from happening to another member of your family. They booed you because, once again, you weren't willing to admit that the QB wasn't the right guy for right now.

Coach Harsin, when you came to Texas, it was to replace an OC who frustrated our fans so severely that they hired planes to fly overhead and plead for his removal. They were frustrated in his inability to be flexible on the field and his refusal to replace players that weren't getting the job done. They were believing in you to be different, and you accepted that challenge. They booed you because you didn't live up to that promise to be flexible and decisive.

I don't pretend to know what it's like to be a college football coach. I don't pretend to know what it's like to have a career where millions of people judge my decisions. I know that is unimaginably difficult and that you don't need a 31 year old girl who's never played football telling you what to do. I'm not presuming I can do your job - this has nothing to do with the technical parts of the game. This is a plea to stop putting our players in positions where they reap the repercussions of your decision making in such a hurtful and personal way.

It's true that fans shouldn't dictate the coaching. But game play should. It is clear by the numbers that the offense couldn't make it work for Gilbert. It is clear from the stats that Gilbert couldn't make it work for the offense. You've known this for long enough.

Shame on you for letting Gilbert be booed on his home field because you weren't willing to admit that your plans weren't working out.

Garrett Gilbert trusted all three of you to show him how to get the job done. He trusted you to give him the tools he needed to do so. He did not expect you to let it get to the point where he would be booed on and off the field. That should have never happened.

And still we hear you talking about having leaders on the field:  Why would you expect them to be leaders? Who are they supposed to learn leadership from?  Who will teach them how to foster trust?  You? 

Seems to me it's the three of you who need to work to prove that you're leaders worthy of trust. Otherwise, you've not only broken the confidence of Garrett Gilbert, but you stand to lose even more: Case McCoy, David Ash and the entire team must silently wonder if you'll let the fans boo at them too. And why wouldn't they?  They just saw it happen to a player who was trying his best with the tools you provided him.

I hope you can earn back their trust and ours. Otherwise it's going to be a long season.

Hook 'Em,
Beth

The List

The other night while wallowing around in misery because of my "Tetanus-shot-dead-arm" affliction, my channel surfing brought me to the movie Rudy.  It was just starting, so I popped a Tylenol, applied an Icy-Hot patch and settled in. This got my little mind a-wandering, thus today's post:

The Best College Football Movies!

Fourth Alternate: Friday Night Lights (movie version).  If you haven't seen this, you probably should just hop onto Netflix and add it to the queue.  It can't be an actual winner, since it is about high school football, and even I have to keep some kind of integrity on here. Still, it's my blog so I can bend the rules if I choose.  I didn't grow up in Texas (I think I'm supposed to say here: "But I got here as fast as I could"), and I really enjoyed the perspective on Texas high school football - or at least Texas high school football in the movies. If you can watch this movie without ending up a Panthers fan, you have no soul.  Plus, Billy Bob Thorton is greatness in this.  Just sayin'.

Third Alternate:  Varsity Blues.  Again, bendy bend...not about college football.  But amazing none the less.  I don't think it gets much better than getting to hear Dawson say "I don't want your life!" in a horrific accent.  Also, there's a player with a pet pig.  And a teacher who moonlights as a stripper!  Movie greatness.  If nothing else, Scott Caan flawlessly plays a character named Tweeder who is plain greatness. Plus if you - like me - find John Voight to be terribly scary all the time, you will be kept in utter suspense the entire movie waiting for him to tear off his football-coach-mask and go all deliverance on me. If you're not a total movie snob, you'll enjoy Varsity Blues for the unintentional comedy factor if nothing else! 

Second Alternate: The Blind Side.  Mostly not about college football and kind of not really about football at all, I will generally stop to watch this movie if it's on TV.  The sweet movie about Michael Oher and the Tuohy family.  Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw are excellently cast and it's just so all around feel-goody! 

First Alternate: Friday Night Lights (the TV series).  You get the drift here...not about college football, but my blog, my rules! I win!  If you haven't seen this series then 1) I don't trust you and 2) your priorities are way out of whack and 3) immediately acquire all of the seasons, call in sick to work and watch them straight through. DO IT!  Each character is cast perfectly.  The relationships are spot on, the dialogue is honest and believable, the story is totally relateable.  It's just wonderful.  But don't forget to buy Kleenex first: you'll laugh until you cry and cry until you laugh in just about every episode.  Director Peter Berg (who I will always think of as the cryogenically, brain powerly and kidneyly challenged Frank in "Late for Dinner") did a phenomenal job bringing this series to life.  Also, as a music gal, I REALLY liked what they did with the music in these! From My Chemical Romance, Bright Eyes, and Iron & Wine, it seems like they always pick just the perfect song.  Plus I love Kyle Chandler and he can do no wrong. Ever. Love me some Friday Night Lights.   

Fifth Place: The Waterboy.  Yeah, I know....not the most intellectual choice, but still hilarious!  Kathy Bates + Adam Sandler + football + backwoods Louisiana?!  There's no room for your movie snobbery here!  Watch it and love it.  (Side note: Fairuza Balk shows up in this movie as bad-girl Vicki Vallencourt - I hadn't seen her in anything since Return to Oz - which is on my list of 80's Children's Movies Not Appropriate for Children - and after a quick IMDB search realized that she was actually in a lot of stuff since 1985, I just hadn't seen any of it. Side-side note, she was in a movie version of a book/play called "The Best Christmas Pagent Ever." I'm pretty sure at one of my elementary schools they performed this - I wasn't in it, but I can sing you the title track...I think this was at some point prior to my third-grade on-stage debut as Betty Body in "Shape Up Santa!"  Weird, right?! Anyhoo...Fairuza will always be Dorthy to me.)

Fourth Place: The Express.  A little hard to watch at times, The Express tells the story of Ernie Davis, the first African American to with the Heisman.  What a heart breaker - watching his struggles at Syracuse as one of the few black players and the hatred towards him.  After taking the team to their first National Championship and winning the Heisman, Ernie signs on with the Cleavland Browns and - gulp - well, you're going to need to watch it.  Everyone does a great job - including Dennis Quaid.  Even though I've heard Dennis Quaid is a real jerk in person, I can't help but love every character he plays...and in The Express he wears a fedora! Greatness! I think it was his portrayal as cocky fighter pilot/astronaut Gordon Cooper in The Right Stuff that made me first love him. "Who's the best damn fighter pilot you ever saw?"  Even if you're not a Dennis Quaid lover, you'll probably love this movie anyway. 

Third Place: We Are Marshall.  I'll be honest right up front here: the Matthews (Fox and McConaughey) are really not the top tier of actor.  I mean, Fox was pretty good in LOST I guess, but let's be real - after about three episodes of LOST, the plot line had gone so haywire that you likely couldn't tell who was acting well and who wasn't....and just when you thought you'd decided, a smoke-monster came out of a tree and ate someone and a new character was introduced.  I'm just sayin'.  (Side note: I recently finished series of weekly phone seminars at work.  The moderator noted that he was in a fraternity with one of the guys that wrote for the series LOST, and began to explain how his buddy used the very principles we were learning to develop his characters.  Because I'm a jerk and slightly short-sided, I interrupted him and asked "can you have him call me, because I have no idea what the Hell went on there."  This might have made the moderator uncomfortable.  Yep, this is me.) It's a sweet movie about the very tragic true story of Marshall University, the plane crash that killed almost the entire football team, coaching staff and many boosters. The movie chronicles how the new head coach and the town deal with this loss.  It's a sweet movie and I found myself gulping back tears when the new Marshall coaches visited West Virginia University to watch some game film.  The Matthews may night be the finest actors, but both were suited for their roles and the movie is absolutely worth the watch.

Second Place: The Program.  College Football Greatness! In The Program we follow a "fictional" top tier football team for a season and witness all kinds of debauchery as the kids and staff deal with the pressure of college football, drugs, crime, school in general and the particular stress of a Heisman campaign.  There is alot of Roid-Rage, which pretty much always leads to something bad. It's a little over the top but when watching The Program, you kind of get the eeks thinking this might actually be happening in your beloved school's football program (ehem, USC).  (Side note: I remember when the trailer first came out, there was a scene shown where the players laid down on the yellow line of the highway in some kind of roided out adrenaline rage to prove they were untouchable.  When the movie came out this scene wasn't in it, because it turns out some people don't understand THIS IS A MOVIE and they went and tried it to an unpleasant end.  People ruin everything.)  The Program isn't the most well acted or written of the movies on the list, but I think it's a great movie about college footbal.  Also, I think of it anytime someone takes off running with the ball Chris Simms style, with the football held straight out in front of them at arm's length.

 

First Place: Rudy.  Of course it is, it's the whole reason I wrote this blog!  If you didn't see that coming....(I tried to sneak a joke in right here about The Longhorn Network, but I couldn't mentally put the pieces together.) 

While Rudy is more about Rudy (the true-ish story of Rudy Reuttiger)  than football, it's still greatness.  The only problem with the movie is that it makes me feel really bad about myself every time I watch it.  Here's Rudy, working so hard to achieve his dream of playing football at Notre Dame.  EVERYONE tells him he can't.  The hits just keep coming and he just keeps working so hard!!  Everytime I watch it I feel like a chump, as the closest I've come to fulfilling my dreams is writing this blog.  Additionally, I don't know why everyone makes fun of Sean Astin so much - not only is he excellent as Rudy Reuttiger, but he was great in Goonies, Memphis Belle, Courage Under Fire and also as that hobbit.  He also was great in the TV movie "Please Don't Hit Me, Mom."  If you haven't seen Rudy, I don't feel bad about spoiling it here - in fact, you should feel ashamed of yourself.  Against my will, even when I know it's coming, there are two particular moments in the movie where I get really emotional.  When Rudy gets into Notre Dame and is sitting on the bench reading his acceptance letter, Astin does such a superb job that EVERY TIME, i end up doing a half sob/half excited laughter snort.  Second, when the grumpy groundskeeper leaves the key on the cot because he knows Rudy is homeless, I start to tear up...mostly because I'm depressed that I'm not as determined as Rudy or as nice as the grumpy groundskeeper (that's right people, keep about me here).  If you don't do a mental fist pump when the curmudgeonly groundskeeper does a single-clap-closed-lip-restrained-excitement 'hell yeah', then you are dead to me.  Seriously.

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can't Lose!

The Extreme Blogging Hiatus

Geesh, there’s a lot of pressure out there for a blogger. Some people (yes, I have DOZENS of followers!) have asked why I haven’t posted in a while. I guess my fans (that was so Lady Gaga) can’t wait whole weeks to hear me ramble about Longhorns and reality TV, so I thought it necessary to run down for you the reasons for my

EXTREME BLOGGING HIATUS

Practice time in the kitchen....

1. Whilst visiting my parents last weekend and participating in a tailgate games challenge with them and their friends, I proved my undomestic-ness by managing to third degree burn my arm on an oven coil. Removing things from the oven is a task I should have mastered at the age of four (the picture here would indicate that I had practiced using a kitchen in some capacity since childhood.)  Using the classic logic of “let a burn breathe” I did just that, allowing a lovely scab to form on my arm just where my watch normally lives. Of course, because I am prone to all things accidental, while in one of my vacancies I got my arm caught in a set of 300-year-old mini-blinds and a part of the scab ripped off. This led to an inevitable trip to the doctor and an even more inevitable Tetanus shot. This led to flu like symptoms and an affliction I’ll call “Tetanus-shot-dead-arm” that I treated with Icy-Hot patches that made me smell like an athlete and/or old man. Rather than blog, for three evenings straight I got home from work and wallowed around in misery watching cartoons. THE LESSON HERE: Eat pre-made desserts and don’t cook or bake. Ever. If you do, you will get Tetanus and die.

  

...it took as long to grow as
this download is going to take you.

2. For the last week, my laptop has been working very hard to download Seasons 1 & 2 of Modern Family. You would think that I had asked my martyr laptop to climb up Mt. Rushmore and carve in Ed O'Neill’s face for all of the grief it has given me over this simple task. Afraid to distract said martyr laptop from the important task of downloading TV shows for me to watch at my leisure, I have tried to touch the martyr laptop only to pet it nicely and whisper soothing words. THE LESSON HERE: Don’t try to download anything on the “martyr laptop” unless you set it to download immediately before leaving for your summer on “Survivor” or “Big Brother.”

3. I acquired an iPad 2, which is most exciting. With it, I have ordered a keyboard case, so I can blog on the go and avoid these EXTREME BLOGGING HIATI (that’s hiatus plural, not Haiti misspelled, FYI). I haven’t gotten the keyboard case yet, and I am not going to post up using just my pointer fingers on a touchpad, thus the not blogging. However, this new toy, coupled with the untimely and recent death of my iPhone 4 has exposed a glaring inefficiency with my ability to work iTunes. iHated having to admit this at the Apple Store, but when swapping out phones I was concerned my recent backup would not keep my pictures. The Apple Genius explained I could move pictures onto my new phone using iTunes. I explained I didn’t know how to work iTunes. The Apple Genius then told me I could pull pictures using my iPhone as a drive, much like I would a digital camera. I asked if I could drag pictures onto my iPhone that way, and he replied “no, you would have to use iTunes for that,” to which I commented “So Apple’s really got me by the balls here.” He awkwardly laughed and said “Yeah….I didn’t expect the first time I heard that in here that it would come out of a woman’s mouth.” “That’s what she said,” I replied to even more awkward laughter. “Can you show me how to work iTunes?" THE LESSON HERE: I can make anyone feel awkward and uncomfortable at any given time. This is a skill I have refined over many years.

4. It’s College Football Season! Which means that Friday night I was glued to the TCU/Baylor game(more on that later), Sunday night I enjoyed A&M/SMU and Saturday was spent in Austin for the Texas game (more on that later, too). Along with College Football Season comes Tailgate Season and apparently three waters and a Gatorade will not keep you hydrated if you are also drinking beer and frozen adult concoctions for 8 hours. THE LESSON HERE: Screw the Longhorn Network! You can watch the game on closed circuit TV inside Medical Station 10-East at DKR. 

5. Since my home typing device (aka martyr laptop) has been ‘otherwise occupied’ I thought I might take some time at work to crank out a few posts, even though apparently that’s against some kind of company policy. Even if I had the guts to try to sneak around this policy, which I don’t, God had other plans.

With His own hand, He managed for there to be a water related crisis at EACH of my portfolios over last week, thus occupying my every waking minute with angry phone calls and the task of having to stand around while city employees worked on pipes and things related to pipes. Turns out my Tenants don’t like it when they don’t have water and will yell at anyone, including people (me) with no control over city utility services, about it. Turns out I don’t like it when Tenants knock over my fire hydrants.  Turns out the city utility service people doin't like coming to fix hydrants at 4:00 on the Friday before a three day weekend.  Turns out I also don’t like it when said hydrants are repaired improperly and cause geysers to form on other parts of the property, thus making me spend my Labor Day hanging out next to a geyser for seven hours. THE LESSON HERE: Spending 20 hours of your week hanging out near water pipes does not guarantee that Mario and Luigi will pop out from one of them and start hurling spikey turtles at you.  What a disappointment.

I feel much better now, having properly explained my EXTREME BLOGGING HIATUS. I hope you were able to cope by re-reading old posts, watching the TCU/Baylor game on a recurring loop and VOTING FOR ME AS DFW’S MOST VALUABLE SPORTS BLOGGER every day, every day.

Haters Gonna Hate

Wow.  It's really tough to read & listen to this A&M to the SEC stuff.   THE FANS ARE OUT OF CONTROL!  Let's all just chill out for a second.  And be logical:

The Longhorn Network

Texas: The LHN has made you look greedy.  Arguing this with people that think you're greedy will just make you seem greedy AND arrogant. 

A&M: You are upset about The LHN.  And rightly so, it's a sweet deal for Texas and unhelpful to you.  Calling Texas greedy won't change that.  It's done.

Conference Instability

Texas:  Yes there is!  But you're going down with the ship.  You go girl!  Let's all blame Nebraska and Colorado...not each other!

A&M:  Yes there is!  You jumped ship ahead of the iceberg.  You go girl!  Let's all blame Nebraska and Colorado...not each other! 

Profit Sharing

Texas: You're on TV more.  This gets you more money.  Good for you!  Teams not on TV as much don't get as much money.  That makes them sad.  Arguing that we all signed the same contract regarding revenue sharing makes you look greedy and arrogant. 

A&M: All teams signed the same contract that outlined a portion of revenue sharing would be allocated based on TV appearances.  You're not on TV as much, and you don't like that, so you're going to a conference with equal revenue sharing.  Good for you!

The Texas vs Texas A&M Game

Texas: You've said if A&M leaves the Big XII you probably won't continue to play them in football.  This makes others think you are ending a storied-rivalry just to make a point and be mean.  Arguments to the contrary just make you look childish and mean.

A&M: You're leaving the Big XII.   By doing that you are not going to be in the same conference as Texas anymore.  Blaming the end of the TX/A&M rivalry on Texas makes you look a little silly and makes it appear that you think Texas is somehow endebted to you.

A&M Going to the SEC

Texas: A&M didn't want to play by your rules, and they did something about it. You want to really get their goat?  Have some pride and STOP TALKING ABOUT IT...just wish them well - what can they argue about then?

A&M:  You didn't like the way the Big XII was going and you wanted to go to the SEC.  You got what you wanted. Do you want to really get their goat?  Have some pride, say you're leaving because it's best for you and STOP GIVING TEXAS ANY CREDIT FOR IT - what can they argue about then?

People, the deed is done - both schools are just doing what they think is best for their programs.  Good for both schools! 

Let's not go all Sooner & stab each other at the Applebees about it!  I think maybe a little distance will help, and perhaps the rivalry can pick back up when each school has been able ot get a little time and perspective on things.

Sadly, though, I feel my call for peace will be in vain.  In matters of the [College Football] heart, logic just doesn't exist.  Players Gonna Play & Haters Gonna Hate.