Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports: Not Everyone Is Related, But Some People Are!

One time I was at a sports bar, holding a table, waiting for the rest of my friends to show up.  This was before iPhones and stuff, so I really had nothing to do before their arrival than to eavesdrop on the people around me.

At the two-top next to me was a cute guy in a retro-team shirt and an adorable, tiny lady in sparkles - both probably in their mid-20's.  They were clearly on a date of sorts, and while he drank his beer and she sipped her appletini, I heard the following exchange:

Him:  "...most guys don't stay with the same team forever.  I don't know...I'm pretty sure Walter Payton was with Chicago for his whole career..."
Her: "Walter Payton?  Is that Peyton Manning's dad?"

Me: Chortle/Snort/Horrified Glance/Avoid Eye Contact
Him: Sideways Warning Glare At Me

Her: "Oh, no..that's not right... It's Eli Manning is Peyton Manning's son...!?"

Him:  "No..."

God Bless him.  I had to get up, angle my chair against the table (universal sign for "I'm here but in the bathroom") and walk from the area.  Just so I could laugh and laugh without embarrassing either the guy or the girl.  I'm not nice, but I was nice enough to be not nice in private.

Today's lesson in Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports is a specific one, about how Walter Payton is not related to The Mannings - Peyton, Eli or Archie.  And how Peyton is not his brother's father.

Let's start with...



Nicknamed "Sweetness" for
his lighthearted personality
...off the field. 



Walter Payton: 

Position: Running back

College: Jackson State University

Pro: The Chicago Bears

Cool Fact: In 13 years with the Bears, Payton only missed one game, due to injury.

Nickname: "Sweetness"

Known For:  The "stutter-step", an irregularly paced, high-stepping run. He said this distracted his pursuers during long runs.

Also...: After being diagnosed with a rare liver disease, he was an advocate for organ donation, establishing the Walter and Connie Payton Foundation to continue to raise money and awareness for the cause.

Neato-Nod: He's a Pro-Football Hall of Famer and one of the inagural inductees of the Black College football hall of fame.

 Not Related To.... 

It's cute Peyton wears his dad's
number, 18.  Not Walter Payton.
Archie Manning

Peyton Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: University of Tennessee

Pro: The Indianapolis Colts

Cool Fact: Manning holds four NFL MVP awards - the most ever (so far) for one single player.

Known For: Running a "hurry-up" offense, in which the team skips the huddle and the play is called at the line of scrimmage.

Also...:  Being really funny in commercials with his brother

Neato-Nod: He founded The Peyback Foundation, which helps underprivledged kids in Indianna, Louisianna and Tennessee

Who's Brother Is....

and he's pretty...does it get
better than Eli & a puppy?

Eli Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: Ole Miss

Pro: New York Giants

Cool Fact: Like his brother, he was 1st Round, 1st Pick of the NFL Draft

Nickname:  Hell if I know...but I will call him "Cuteness" as a nod to his cuteness.

Known For: Being really funny in commercials with his brother

Also...: The University of Missisipi Medical Center now boasts the "The Eli Manning Children's Clinic" thanks to a 3 Million dollar, 5 year funding project.

Neato-Nod: Eli hosts the largest and oldest charity golf event which profits "Guiding Eyes for the Blind" and helps support the training of seeing eye dogs for the visually impared and helper dogs for autistic children.

Oh Yeah, and their dad is kind of famous too....

Awe.  Old school football
players were handsome!

Archie Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: Ole Miss

Pro: New Orleans Saints, Houston Oilers & Minnesota Vikings

Cool Fact:  Ole Miss honors Archie by making the speed limit on campus 18 mph, in honor of his jersey number.

Known For:  Quarterbacking 540 yards in the first nationally telivised prime-time college football game in a heartbreaking 32-33 loss to Alabama

Also....: being named the Quarterback of the Quarter Century in the SEC
Neato-Nod:  One of John Grisham's characters in The Pelican Brief is named Archibald Manning....to honor...Archie Manning

As you can see, Walter Payton probably isn't related to the other three...for kind of obvious reasons. While the other three are actually awfully related to each other.

Like father like son.  And son.

I particularly love a Direct TV Commercial from 2006,  where Eli and Peyton came home to find dad Archie giving tips to Matt Leinart..where they catch him confessing that he "always wanted a lefty".

Now you know.  And knowing's half the battle.