Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports: Not Everyone Is Related, But Some People Are!

One time I was at a sports bar, holding a table, waiting for the rest of my friends to show up.  This was before iPhones and stuff, so I really had nothing to do before their arrival than to eavesdrop on the people around me.

At the two-top next to me was a cute guy in a retro-team shirt and an adorable, tiny lady in sparkles - both probably in their mid-20's.  They were clearly on a date of sorts, and while he drank his beer and she sipped her appletini, I heard the following exchange:

Him:  "...most guys don't stay with the same team forever.  I don't know...I'm pretty sure Walter Payton was with Chicago for his whole career..."
Her: "Walter Payton?  Is that Peyton Manning's dad?"

Me: Chortle/Snort/Horrified Glance/Avoid Eye Contact
Him: Sideways Warning Glare At Me

Her: "Oh, no..that's not right... It's Eli Manning is Peyton Manning's son...!?"

Him:  "No..."

God Bless him.  I had to get up, angle my chair against the table (universal sign for "I'm here but in the bathroom") and walk from the area.  Just so I could laugh and laugh without embarrassing either the guy or the girl.  I'm not nice, but I was nice enough to be not nice in private.

Today's lesson in Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports is a specific one, about how Walter Payton is not related to The Mannings - Peyton, Eli or Archie.  And how Peyton is not his brother's father.

Let's start with...



Nicknamed "Sweetness" for
his lighthearted personality
...off the field. 



Walter Payton: 

Position: Running back

College: Jackson State University

Pro: The Chicago Bears

Cool Fact: In 13 years with the Bears, Payton only missed one game, due to injury.

Nickname: "Sweetness"

Known For:  The "stutter-step", an irregularly paced, high-stepping run. He said this distracted his pursuers during long runs.

Also...: After being diagnosed with a rare liver disease, he was an advocate for organ donation, establishing the Walter and Connie Payton Foundation to continue to raise money and awareness for the cause.

Neato-Nod: He's a Pro-Football Hall of Famer and one of the inagural inductees of the Black College football hall of fame.

 Not Related To.... 

It's cute Peyton wears his dad's
number, 18.  Not Walter Payton.
Archie Manning

Peyton Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: University of Tennessee

Pro: The Indianapolis Colts

Cool Fact: Manning holds four NFL MVP awards - the most ever (so far) for one single player.

Known For: Running a "hurry-up" offense, in which the team skips the huddle and the play is called at the line of scrimmage.

Also...:  Being really funny in commercials with his brother

Neato-Nod: He founded The Peyback Foundation, which helps underprivledged kids in Indianna, Louisianna and Tennessee

Who's Brother Is....

and he's pretty...does it get
better than Eli & a puppy?

Eli Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: Ole Miss

Pro: New York Giants

Cool Fact: Like his brother, he was 1st Round, 1st Pick of the NFL Draft

Nickname:  Hell if I know...but I will call him "Cuteness" as a nod to his cuteness.

Known For: Being really funny in commercials with his brother

Also...: The University of Missisipi Medical Center now boasts the "The Eli Manning Children's Clinic" thanks to a 3 Million dollar, 5 year funding project.

Neato-Nod: Eli hosts the largest and oldest charity golf event which profits "Guiding Eyes for the Blind" and helps support the training of seeing eye dogs for the visually impared and helper dogs for autistic children.

Oh Yeah, and their dad is kind of famous too....

Awe.  Old school football
players were handsome!

Archie Manning:

Position: Quarterback

College: Ole Miss

Pro: New Orleans Saints, Houston Oilers & Minnesota Vikings

Cool Fact:  Ole Miss honors Archie by making the speed limit on campus 18 mph, in honor of his jersey number.

Known For:  Quarterbacking 540 yards in the first nationally telivised prime-time college football game in a heartbreaking 32-33 loss to Alabama

Also....: being named the Quarterback of the Quarter Century in the SEC
Neato-Nod:  One of John Grisham's characters in The Pelican Brief is named Archibald Manning....to honor...Archie Manning

As you can see, Walter Payton probably isn't related to the other three...for kind of obvious reasons. While the other three are actually awfully related to each other.

Like father like son.  And son.

I particularly love a Direct TV Commercial from 2006,  where Eli and Peyton came home to find dad Archie giving tips to Matt Leinart..where they catch him confessing that he "always wanted a lefty".

Now you know.  And knowing's half the battle.

Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports: Trophies Are Shiny!

Today we're going to talk about two things: Sports and Winning.

...And how each of the major professional sports leagues has it's own championship trophy, and each trophy has an actual name.

(Being my first "Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports" post, I'm not sure how basic I have to get. Certainly I don't have to explain what "professional" and "league" mean in terms of sports....right?)

Mark Cuban, Mav's Owner
& the Larry O'Brien Trophy

NBA = Basketball

Trophy Name: The Larry O'Brien Trophy

Who? Former NBA Commissioner AND Postmaster General!!

Fun Fact: The basketball atop the trophy is the exact size of a REAL REGULATION BASKETBALL.

*Who Has It Now?: The Dallas Mavericks

Commissioner's Trophy

MLB = Baseball

Trophy Name: The Commissioner's Trophy

Why?  That way the Commissioner can give it out and feel like it's named for him!

Fun Fact: This is the only pro-sports championship trophy not named after an actual person.

Who Has It Now? The St. Louis Cardinals

Lombardi Trophy

NFL = Football

Trophy Name: The Vince Lombardi Trophy

Who? Legendary & Beloved Green Bay Packers Coach who died suddenly of cancer in 1970

Fun Fact:  It is made by the lady friendly Tiffany & Co., entirely of sterling silver.

Who Has It Now? The Green Bay Packers

Lord Stanley's Cup

NHL = Hockey

Trophy Name: The Stanley Cup

Who? Lord Stanley of Preston - he was the Govorner General of Canada in the late 1800's

Fun Fact: Unlike the other sports trophies we talked about here, the Stanley Cup is passed from championship team to championship team each year, rather than having a new one made each year.

Who Has It Now? The Boston Bruins

See! That wasn't too hard! Once you arm yourself with these simple facts about shiny trophies, you're one step closer to being able to contribute to sports conversations!

*NOTE!* When I say "now", I mean at the time of posting - January 13th, 2012.

**NOTE NOTE!** Certainly I don't need to explain that there is the potential for a new champion each season...right?

Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports: Introduction

I am by no means an expert on sports. I love my teams and know a lot about them as teams, but a sports fanatic I am not.

For instance, a co-worker of mine is a fellow Longhorn fan and Adventures of a Football Girl enthusiast. We'll call him "Cabbage Patch." While helping me promote the blog for the CBS/DFW Most Valuable Blogger Contest, Cabbage Patch emailed some of his old fraternity brothers along with the comment that I could put them all to shame with my University of Texas Football historical and statistical knowledge. Flattering, yes. And it may or may not be true, but it does emphasize the point that I know a lot about the team I love. That doesn't mean I can tell you anything about the Dallas Cowboys. My football knowledge doesn't transfer. It's all about the Horns.

In another instance, while watching a Mavs playoff game last year at Twin Peaks, the bar sponsored a five question trivia contest during halftime. The group I was sitting with divvied up the questions ahead of time for quick googling, in an effort to get that free pitcher of beer. All the questions were about the Mavs, and I was able to answer all of them using only the filing cabinet in my noggin. As someone at the table called out "okay, I've got the first one" I was already on my feet to turn in the completed survey. They all eyeballed me skeptically as I yelled "I got this!" over my shoulder, halfway to the emcee. Wouldn't you know...this girl beat out every man in that bar in Mavs trivia - I'd be damned before I let someone else claim that pitcher! But! Had the trivia been about any other team or the league in general, I'd have been googling with the rest of them.

I have often been told that Adventures of a Football Girl is not what people were expecting. As in...it's not really about the technicalities of football.

Even more often than that, though, I have heard women IN PUBLIC say things about sports that have made me laugh, cry and cringe...all at the same time. I'm talking basics.

These two factors have inspired me to write a series within Adventures of a Football Girl called "Things Every Girl Can Learn About Sports" where I will write mini-lessons on basic sports facts. Each post will focus on a few handy sports points of interest, hopefully presented in a rememberable format for women to commit to memory for future conversations...say...at a sports bar.

I know you've got some thoughts & questions right now. Let's address:

You: I'm a girl. I am awesome and know everything about sports. I don't need you!
Me: Yes. You most definitely are awesomer than me. Nothing to learn here...

You: How can I get my girlfriend to read this without tipping her off that I think she's sports-dumb?
Me: Point her to a nice post about...me falling down or some other such personal humiliation. I suggest "New Boots" or "Chicken Nugget". Once on the site, she's going to see the post title and secretly read it. And nor she or you will EVER bring it up....

You: I'm a dude. And I know everything about sports. I saw the Mavs score that home run last week!!
Me: Maybe you should just read them for...fact checking. Yeah...since I'm just a girl I don't know any better...so I'll need a fact checker!

On a final note...a lot of the things I'll be writing about are things that I had to learn for myself at some point...likely after saying some kind of sports gibberish in a bar....probably to make an impression on some guy.

Trust me. You don't want to make that kind of impression.

The Not-So-Much-of-a-Slip

Mark Cuban was being interviewed on The Ticket the other day, and he refered to the Denver Nuggets as the Denver "Nugglettes." 

I enjoyed this, to the extent that I chortled in my car, but thought it a bit of a bad omen, considering we had just lost the first game of the season after our championship year.  Then Denver beat the Mavs by over 20 points. 

Awesome.

The Book

For the last few days, I’ve spent most of my time at my apartment, trying to lure an adopted cat out from under the bed. Cati (pronounced Catty) Bevo (named for the legendary Texas Come and Take It cannon and beloved University of Texas mascot) has had a few brief journeys out from the cozy darkness beneath my box spring…usually only long enough to sprint to another cozy cave of furniture. Turns out my apartment is full of irretrievable hiding spots for cats.

Not since Dr. Robert Carnochan, UT Band Director, has a living being been so terrified of me as little Cati Bevo is. Having never really had a pet, I am completely incompetent as to how to solve this problem. So I googled it, because all information found on the internet is always right, and have spent the majority of my time at home sitting low to the ground, pretending to not watch the cat.

Brilliant.

Cati Bevo also enjoyed the book...

Whilst hanging out on the floor and occasionally rolling catnip laced bribery toys in Cati Bevo’s vague direction, I read Jim Dent’s book “Courage Beyond the Game,” which is about Freddie Steinmark, his battle with cancer and his time on the University of Texas Football Team, particularly the 1969 championship season, where for the last game, he stood on the sidelines on just one leg, having had the other removed just 20 days prior to contain his tumor. Ten days earlier, he had played in the storied Texas/Arkansas game.

It was a great read, much different than I expected it to be. I recommend it to any Texas Football Fan, college football fan, person…really to anyone that’s not a complete heartless bastard.

There is one problem with the book, though…and that is much like the movie “Rudy,” it left me feeling like a complete slacker while bawling my eyes out. 

That aside, I thought it was pretty interesting that in his acknowledgements, Dent mentions a couple of times, strangely bluntly, about Darrell Royal’s memory loss.

“When I began the project, I was told I would not be able to interview Darrell Royal because of his memory loss.” “The coach was in great spirits and had forgotten nothing about Steinmark, or the national championship season of 1969.” “In the grip of memory-loss issues at age 86, a bright-eyed and smiling Darrell Royal sat next to a window and looked out at the rugged, rolling hills of Barton Creek. He remembered Freddie Steinmark like it was yesterday.”

Heh? I guess this shouldn’t be surprising, Royal is going on 88 this year. I just can’t get over the fact that in all my research for Adventures of a Football Girl, and all my time as a Texas Football fan, this has never come up. To have it mentioned so bluntly was just a bit … startling. In fact, I looked all over the interwebs and couldn’t find any references.

It made me sad to think of Coach Royal in this way, so I‘ve chosen to ignore this new information.

....Much like I’ve decided to ignore Cati Bevo, who in the course of writing this post, has journeyed out from under the TV stand and made a loop around the apartment. While I sat on my bed with the laptop, she became so confused by my ignoring her that she plopped herself right on top of the keyboard as I typed.

The internet is amazing.

But you didn’t come to Adventures of a Football Girl to read about my cat, even if her name is Cati Bevo.

So I will leave you with some legendary and inspiring words from Darrell Royal:

“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn't eat 'em.”